I have never done a blog before and I am not really expecting anyone else to read it...just me. This is so I remember this weight loss journey. I have lost and gained weight so much over the past 10 years that I need to have something to remind myself how good I feel when I am skinny compared to how I feel when I am fat. Any yes...right now I am FAT!! So bring on the pain...tomorrow I make the phone call that will start me loosing weight...and hopefully feeling better.

I should mention that I am a horrible speller...so through this journey IF someone does decide to read my blog...look out...my spelling sucks!!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Blogging in my head

I have been blogging in my head all day. All the things I needed to write down as my day went along. NOW...do you think I can remember any of them?? Nope. I miss food. I am stuck at 157 pounds and can't seem to drop. I was so tired. It feels like it is taking a long time to loose this weight. I should hate myself for ever letting me get back to this point. My pants are getting looser so that is a good sign...now if the scale would just drop. the veggies are killing me. I hate them. I would rather just not eat...but that is probably part of the reason I'm not loosing like I want to be. I think I only have one week left and I am only down 9 pounds still. What happens when my month is up and I haven't lost it all? Do I challenge them. Oh I can't even go there.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Am I glad this days over

When bad days get worse sometimes I just wish I could go back to bed and start over. I didn't overeat today which was the best part of my day. I was somewhat stressed and I made it thought...hooray!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Two weeks in

I haven't blogged because I haven't wanted to. I am two weeks in...and 9 pounds down. I had a full week of staying @ 160 pounds and that sucked. For the most part I am not hungry. I want to eat just for the sake of eating, but I am not hungry. I haven't cheated unless you count the smiggen of brownie I pulled off the knife last night...but I don't! I really want fries at work. Everyone and there dog ordered poutine today...it was like a sign...someone saying...EAT POUTINE!!! I love poutine. Love food period. I had so much energy yesterday but today...poof goners!

There is only a few days left of school, and then a summer with my children. I am going to need to keep a close eye on the bigger two...they seem to be doing things without telling me and that scares me a bit. Michael made the 3rd teir team for baseball so for the most part that will keep him busy. If I get desperate I will ship them to Auntie or to spend a night with Jubee. They like it there too. My left knee is really soar, I don't know what I did. I started working out...only 3 times so far, but maybe I pulled something??? I have a headache, I am hoping a good night sleep will get rid of it. I need to loose another 10 pounds before Wendover. That is just over 2 weeks away. I HAVE TO do it!! We are looking at Vegas in August and I want to go...but I want to have all my weight off first. Can I don another month of this? I am unsure. Two more weeks for sure...then we'll see.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

over and done with

This day is over and done with and I am glad. I am stressed about Rebecca's b-day party. It will be a busy day tomorrow...can I get it all done. I am missing food again. We have brownie and cookies in the house and that is making it hard.

Dreading today

So I have been dreading today because it is going to be a rough one at work. I can feel it. Have I worked out once yet? NO!! I need that stress relief....maybe tomorrow. WHo am I kidding Friday's are nuts. I am not hungry really anymore...but it is grey and cold outside so I am a bit sad. This nasty weather is killing my mood. Where is the June sunshine?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Wednesday June 16 2010

Down .6 today so for my first week I am down 6.6 pounds. Not to shabby. It wasn't easy. It is Becca's birthday today and while everyone was eating pizza I was eating salad and crab. Yes I do love crab...but I miss butter and that pizza looked so good. I just didn't even think about how much I was missing it until right now...and now it's all gone. I sent it all home with the folks...so no pizza for me. I am feeling better, still stressed at work, but I am hoping that all changes tomorrow. I am worried about the outcome. I hope that no feelings are hurt and that the situation can be resolved. The joys of having lots of women working in a small enviroment...you get drama.

My baby turned 12 today. 12 years ago I was an overwhelmed new mom....and now it feels like I have always been a mom. It's weird to think I have a 12 year old. She was such a good baby. So happy and cute. I hope the next few years will be ok.

Issac and all the family came to dinner. Man is he a cutie. Jen and Allen were up to there usual tricks...driving me crazy!!!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Oh boy

My day is over. I will look back on this day 6 months from now and be proud. Proud that I didn't eat while stressed. That is all I can say about this day!